Proximity Isn’t The Flex You Think It Is

Hello friends,

I know some white people may be offended by this but it needs to be said: proximity to a Black or Global Majority person doesn’t make you an expert on their experience. For sure, you have a ringside seat to many of the oppressions they face. And because you care about them, you can empathize with their pain but, and it’s an important but, you don’t have the same experience - viscerally - that they do. It’s another of those cases where you need to know what you don’t know.

In the past, I’ve talked about the “Black friend defence” - the use of a Black person you happen to know as a way to undermine the validity of what the Black person in front of you is saying. There’s also the “Black partner defence” which is (you guessed it) the use of a Black person you’re married to or partnered with to undermine the validity of what the Black person in front of you is saying.

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