Hello friends,
During the holidays, my sister and I observed an interesting phenomenon during our morning walks on the local golf course. It’s a popular exercise spot in Barbados, but also not too crowded, especially if you go as early as we do. That means there is plenty of space for people to get out of each other’s way, which is crucial in these Covid times.
And yet, some people don’t.
We noticed some commonalities in who moves and who doesn’t.
First of all, most pale-skinned people are unlikely to move, especially if they come from these parts or the USA (you can sometimes tell by their accent if they happen to be speaking). Many light-skinned Black people don’t move either. Men of all hues usually stay right where they are, even if it looks like they’ll walk straight into you. And almost without exception, dark-skinned Black women move aside.
The first time my sister and I noticed this, we thought it was odd, but as the days went on, it became clear that it was a pattern. We started speculating about the reasons for the behavior—and the reasons for our own initial inclination to always give way, which we had to fight for the purposes of this experiment.
First of all, there’s white supremacy (yes, it definitely exists in Black majority, previously colonized spaces). It’s the attitude that assumes that whiteness supersedes all and that the world will arrange itself for white comfort. I’m not saying this was conscious or deliberate. In fact, I believe it was largely unconscious and unthinking—pale-skinned people expected that they could keep walking and never bump into anyone because everyone would move. And they were mostly right.
That also accounts for the attitude of the light-skinned Black people. Because of Covid and the need to stay safe, it would be normal to expect that when two groups of two walk towards each other, each group would pick a side and give each other space. What actually tended to happen is that the light-skinned Black people, like their white counterparts, would continue to walk in the middle of the path, not acknowledging that anyone was coming towards them.
In sharp contrast, the dark-skinned Black people, especially the women, moved aside early and left room for everyone. This happened dozens of times over the course of three weeks. And we also noticed that our own inclination was to make room. That’s how we’re socialized, both as women and as Black people.
When we decided to stand our ground in a couple of cases, it felt a little uncomfortable but also somewhat liberating. But there were still cases where we eventually gave way because it was obvious that the oncoming person or people hadn’t thought about moving. And we’re still in Covid times, so it felt safer to move, even if we felt a teeny bit resentful.
While I’m talking about an experience in Barbados, it’s not the only place I’ve experienced this. In most global minority countries and in countries that were colonized, it also applies. I’m 5 foot 10 and dark-skinned, so I tend to be visible even in a crowd, but it’s amazing how many (mostly) white people have barged into me as if I don’t exist, and many don’t even apologize. Instead, they glare at me for daring to be in their way.
There’s history there, of course. In many societies built on enslavement, there were spaces where Black people could and couldn’t go; even in permitted spaces, they were expected to give way. But as Hannah Drake has said, it’s time for that to stop. (Read: Do Not Move Off The Sidewalk Challenge: Holding Your Space in A White World.)
It’s the 21st century, and I believe that Black people have to fight that socialization. I know it’s hard (believe me), but it’s not right for one group to always give way. It simply isn’t.
That said, while we’re steeling ourselves to stand our ground, would-be allies can help too. If you’re in that group, notice how you take up space and what your unspoken expectations are. And next time, maybe you can be the one to step aside.
Thanks for reading,
Sharon
© Sharon Hurley Hall, 2022. All Rights Reserved.
Cover photo courtesy of Canva.
I am an anti-racism writer, a professional B2B writer and blogger, and co-host of The Introvert Sisters podcast. If you value my perspective, please consider upgrading to a paid subscription.
I've had this conversation with my mother (who is light-skinned and about Alicia Keys' complexion) who is forever walking in the middle of the sidewalk. She will never move, even when she's walking my dog. I've physically had to hold her hand or shift her shoulder to get her to stop. Her response is always, "They can move over too" no matter who it is.
Meanwhile I'm stepping to the side and pulling my dog over all the time. It always strikes me strange because if SHE doesn't do it, I have no idea where I got this from. I can only guess that it's because I'm a stickler for personal space, as in I was doing the 6-foot distance long before COVID-19. I cannot stand when people are too close to me in store aisles or self-checkout counters or anywhere else. When Lil O's "Back Back" came out while I was in college, it may as well have been my theme song. Gimme 50 feet ... unless I know you. Perhaps it makes me look submissive, but it's really just, "I don't know you like that. Stop breathing on me hard enough to make my relaxer into new growth!"
I went to your site to see if there was some sort of enlightenment about race that I may be missing. I read about 3 paragraphs of Move Aside, Please, and quickly decided there wasn't. I can't imagine what it is like to have people treat you differently because of how you look. Oh, wait a minute. Yes I can. You see, here in the US (while I've traveled the world, I have never been to Barbados), if young black men and woman are walking down the street towards me, they are very likely to not move even if they are taking up the entire walkway. I guess it is either young black privilege or arrogance. But, it does exist. One could say, I guess, these young people are trying to make up for years where their parents were wrongly treated, but it does not change the fact they are also being racist. Racism of any kind should not be tolerated and trying to make one feel guilty for the sins of their fathers only exacerbates the problem. It does not fix it. So, I will not be reading any of your post, which I am sure will not bother you, but if you want to be a voice to fix a problem you have to realize your writings at this time will not do it since you are preaching to the choir, not the congregation.