Where Are You From?

Hello friends,

It's weird, but every so often I realise I've been processing my feelings about racism for longer than I thought. This work in progress, for example, is from mid-2019.

I've been having conversations with some of my friends recently and it turns out that, though we're all racialised as Black, we feel differently about the question "where are you from"? For me, it's often about the intent behind the question. When the point is to other me, it can be painful, which is what happened when I wrote this.

Where are you from?

Where are you from?

The question skewers the conversation,

Dividing it neatly into

Before and after

The first, murmured answer is never enough

Where are you from

They ask again

Rising cadence

Puzzled half frown

As if they can't quite believe

What you're telling them

Where are you really from?

But how do you explain

The mishmash of journeys

That tell your story

Create your accent

And why should you

When you know your answer

Will never satisfy

Those looking to box you into otherness

No matter what you say

The questions continue

Ending with a triumphant

Yes, but where are your parents from?

The answer, once given,

Gives them satisfaction

While you, satisfactorily othered

Resume your boxed in life

Go back to the conversation

Waiting for the next time someone asks

Where are you from?

So you can do the dance again.

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If you're racialised as Black or a person of the Global Majority, I'd love to hear how this question lands with you. If you're racialised as white, how often do you think about how it might make people feel?

P.S. Alternatives can be hit or miss. I personally prefer it when people ask about my current location or my culture, but others may not find this any better.

Thanks for reading,

Sharon

Note: poll feedback is private - if you’re happy to share your thoughts in public, then please also leave a comment.

I am an anti-racism educator and activist, the author of “I’m Tired of Racism”, and co-host of The Introvert Sisters podcast.

© Sharon Hurley Hall, 2019, 2025. All Rights Reserved. This newsletter is published on beehiiv (affiliate link).