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Hello {{ first name | friends}},
One of my favourite things to do is to chop it up with my sister Lisa. We founded and co-hosted The Introvert Sisters podcast, and every conversation between us feels like an extension of that. So I was happy to join Lisa on her Space to Exhale podcast, to dive deep into the issues that come up when working while Black. In the episode, I share how and why I became vocal about racism, discuss the importance of legacy, and highlight ways of getting revolutionary rest. Here are a few excerpts:
On Microaggressions and Stereotyping
"I didn’t learn the term microaggressions till decades after I’d already experienced my first one. Microaggressions don’t just happen at work. Black people who live in countries where they are in the minority experience them every day in every sphere of their lives. And just so you know, post-colonial societies where Black people are in the majority aren’t exempt from microaggressions either...
Most of my experiences of racial microaggressions happened in the UK where I lived and worked for 15 years, but they’re identical to the experiences of my Black relatives and friends who work in the US. At first, I was simply perplexed by what I considered stupid questions. But it turned out those questions and comments were all subtle ways of letting me know I didn’t belong...
There were a couple of statements I heard over and over again during my years working in England, such as, 'You’re so articulate; you speak such good English.' The tone is what separates a compliment from a microaggression. If there’s surprise, then there’s the underlying assumption that Black people aren’t articulate or that we come from places where English isn’t the first language. Learn some history, people."
On Gaslighting and Advocacy
“The gaslighting really will make you doubt yourself. Hearing stories—while sad and frustrating—makes people feel less like it’s all in their head. That’s one of the reasons that I write, am an activist, and do what I do. People are surprised to learn that I’m an introvert. I’m out here writing, talking, advocating, making noise and being loud about injustices, because I’ve lived it. I know what it’s like to feel gaslit and to wonder, ‘Is it just me?’ You realise as you talk to people, it isn’t just you—it's not an individual experience, it's global. My newsletter aims to help people who share my identity feel seen and others facing oppression feel seen, but also to raise awareness among those who might be contributing without even knowing it, and those willing to do better but don’t know where to start.”