Sometimes It’s Heavy

A self-compassion reminder as we do anti-racism work

Hello friends,

The other day, I was beating myself up about not having done more to promote my book recently, when my friends in the FLOWLab pulled me up. One person reminded me of what I myself had said: that things get done even if we don’t constantly rush about.

Extreme urgency is a facet of white supremacist culture, and it’s something we explicitly reject at Mission Equality, which I love. In this particular case, I was about to fall back into old patterns of thoughts.

In the same meeting, my friend Kara reminded me that I spend a lot of time immersed in heavy stuff, so it’s ok to take a break.

It’s true.

In the two weeks before writing this, I published four newsletter articles, and co-facilitated four meetings, two to do with my book and two as part of the Anti-Racist Leaders Association. It’s work I’ve signed up for and it’s part of my purpose, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.

Often, it’s external factors that up the ante - like social media abuse or horrible comments on newsletter posts.

All of this means that though I’m not experiencing corporate level racism, I’m still experiencing racism, often, even if not daily. And some days the weight of that is very, very heavy.

It’s one thing I want the people I work with to understand - showing up consistently to help other people learn and unlearn takes effort, some days more than others. It takes a conscious decision to leave some things at the door to help those folx further their growth. But those heavy things are still happening, and still have an effect.

I said to someone in that same meeting that I’d had a list of books to read at the start of the year - one a month, which is an ok goal for someone who reads as quickly as I do.

But I’m finding that when it comes to anti-racism books, I need more mental space as I read, both between chapters and between books. So I’ve read just three of the six books I planned to have finished by mid-year. I’ll get to the rest when I have the capacity.

Right now, I do the work anyway, despite the occasional heaviness. It’s work I feel called to do, and most days it feels right to do it.

But for all of us doing this work, I’m sharing the reminder that my friends gave me: have some compassion for yourself, and find ways to prioritise self-care. That’s how you - and we - are able to keep showing up.

And we need to keep showing up - because, as Erin Corine Johnson says, our work is seeding change we may not see, but our descendants will benefit from.

What do you think?

Thanks for reading,

Sharon

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© Sharon Hurley Hall, 2023. All Rights Reserved.

Cover photo courtesy of Canva.

I am an anti-racism educator and activist, Co-Founder of Mission Equality, the author of “I’m Tired of Racism”, and co-host of The Introvert Sisters podcast.