“Missing Whose Mark?”: A Reflection on Language, Legitimacy, and Liberation

Hello {{ first name | friends}},

A while back, I published an interview with Shayla S. Dube. While it was well received, one person decided to use the comment section to take a swing. After sitting with it for a while, Shayla wrote a powerful response, which you’ll find below.

Reader Commentary on “Building My Own Table”

Submitted January 17, 2024 (name withheld for privacy) “I am certain the author is trying to say something important… but your rhetoric is best wrapped in simple, straightforward language that is easy to understand at first reading. It seems the author may be more interested in showing an ability to manipulate words than to explain an important concept. I believe the author meant well but missed the mark.”

My Response:

Not every comment deserves a response.

But I chose to sit with this one for over a year.

And now, I respond not from reaction, but from deep reflection and grounded introspection.

As an educator, social worker, speaker, therapist, and parent, my multiple roles are rooted in communication.

So when a reader suggests that my words are “manipulative” or “too complex,” I don’t take it lightly.

I know what it means to have my assertiveness policed,

To be labeled hostile, angry, too passionate, or too intellectual

Simply for speaking with clarity, cultural weight, and conviction.

This is a common experience for women of African descent whom they racialized as Black,

Those of us who communicate from a place of truth, ancestry, and unapologetic presence.

Let me be clear:

I do not write for simplicity.

I write for truth, truth that resists reduction and refuses to be flattened for comfort.

I am not for everyone, and not every message will resonate with every ear.

But just because you didn’t connect, doesn’t mean something is wrong with the message or the messenger.

It may simply mean: it wasn’t written for you.

I write for the young adult I once was,

The one who stopped speaking in class because they said her accent was too thick, her English too African.

I write for the elders whose wisdom is orally archived.

I write for communities who have always known that meaning is layered, rhythmic, and sacred.

What one calls rhetoric, I call resonance.

What one finds confusing is often just unfamiliar, because it wasn’t written in the language of the dominant gaze.

Complexity is not manipulation.

It is memory. It is cultural integrity. It is lived experience.

If I missed your mark, perhaps it was never my target.

I’m not here to simplify myself to become more palatable.

I’m here to remember myself, reclaim my voice, and model what it means to speak in ways that honour both ancestral depth and present-day responsibility.

Because communication that decolonizes does not always cater to comfort—

It calls us to confront what we’ve been taught to dismiss.

So before you tone it down or dim your light, pause and ask:

Is the feedback truly constructive or simply uncomfortable?

Constructive feedback invites dialogue.

It’s curious, not condescending.

It’s a conversation—not a critique disguised as correction.

To melanated women of African descent, and to all racial equity-seeking communities:

Let this be your reminder:

You do not have to dilute your voice to deserve a seat at the table.

You are allowed to be complex, layered, brilliant, and bold.

You are allowed to speak in your mother tongue, your full accent, your ancestral cadence.

You are allowed to write, speak, teach, and lead in ways that center your truth—not colonial comfort.

Keep writing. Keep naming. Keep showing up.

Build your table. Burn the boxes. Speak in your own tongue if you can.

You were never too much.

You were always enough, just too expansive for the spaces that were too small.

I see you. I honour you. You are enough.

In rooted resistance and ancestral remembrance,

Shayla. S. Dube, She/ We, MSW, RCSW Wellness Empowered Community Services www.wellnessempowered.com

Thanks for reading,

Sharon

Note: poll feedback is private - if you’re happy to share your thoughts in public, then please also leave a comment.

I am an anti-racism educator and activist, the author of “I’m Tired of Racism”, and co-host of The Introvert Sisters podcast.

© Sharon Hurley Hall, 2025. All Rights Reserved. This newsletter is published on beehiiv (affiliate link).