Building Our Own Table: Altagracia Montilla

In partnership with

FEATURED CHANGEMAKER: The roots of change agency is built for heart-first activists to build our own agency and create lasting change. Please consider donating and supporting our work.

Hello {{ first name | friends}},

It’s interview time again, and I’m delighted to introduce you to Altagracia Montilla. We met online some years ago, and I’ve always admired her work and clear vision. By the end of this interview, I’m sure you will, too. Please meet Altagracia…

Altagracia, tell me briefly about your background prior to founding Conflict Bravery

I grew up in a low-income, urban environment in the South Bronx in New York City. As a child, I was labeled “gifted,” which meant I was placed on a particular academic track, one where my intelligence was recognized, rewarded, and invested in. I was given more attention, more opportunities, and eventually encouraged by an educator to test into a school with significantly more resources.

That school was predominantly white and wealthy, an environment many families had been preparing their children for years to enter through tutoring and extra support. What I noticed, even at a very young age, was that this path separated me from the people I grew up with. I also noticed that the ways my intelligence showed up were celebrated because they fit a narrow, traditional definition of what intelligence is supposed to look like.

I deeply believed then, and still do now, that everyone I grew up with was brilliant in their own way. But not all brilliance has space to show up on paper or in systems that weren’t designed for it. That realization stayed with me. It planted a question that has guided every role I’ve ever held: How do I leave the world better than I found it? And how do I help create a world where people are truly celebrated for who they are and what they bring?

Every position I’ve worked in since has been a deeper layer of exploring that question.

Give me the elevator pitch for Conflict Bravery

Conflict Bravery is a framework and practice that helps people heal their relationship to conflict so they can remain rooted in who they are, deepen relationships, and build the courage and capacity to challenge unjust systems. Rather than focusing solely on terminology, frameworks, or intellectual understanding, Conflict Bravery helps people build the most basic and most necessary skills: nervous system regulation, self-trust, and the ability to stay present and speak up when it matters. This work supports individuals, teams, and communities in becoming strong enough, internally and collectively, to sustain meaningful change over time.

And in more detail?

Before founding my company, I worked across education and nonprofit spaces building college-prep programming for young people, designing and implementing equity strategies across school communities, and leading national organizations in developing more equitable approaches to serving communities. I’ve also designed anti-racist strategies aimed at interrupting and dismantling racist thinking.

Over time, I began to see a pattern: racism doesn’t just live in systems, it takes root in bodies, in fear, in disconnection, and in our relationship to conflict. So my work evolved. Today, my focus is on helping people be well enough, grounded enough, that racism doesn’t take root in the same way.

Conflict Bravery is about healing our relationship to conflict so we can engage it skillfully whether that conflict is internal, relational, or systemic. It supports people in building nervous system ease, clarity, and courage so they can challenge ideas that need changing, systems that need changing, and patterns that no longer serve us.

This work isn’t limited to any one identity group. It’s something all of us need. It helps communities deepen trust, strengthen relationships, and build the capacity to sustain movements, not just start them.

What inequity were you trying to address, and why is this important?

I’m deeply focused not only on what needs to be broken down, but on what needs to be built. I believe the world we want to see doesn’t have to exist someday, it can exist right now if we choose to live it, embody it, and practice it daily.

The inequity I’m addressing is the lack of capacity, individually and collectively, to engage conflict in ways that lead to healing, clarity, and transformation. When people are disconnected from themselves, afraid of conflict, or overwhelmed by it, unjust systems remain intact. By building inner capacity, relational strength, and courage, we create the conditions for real, sustainable change.

How’s it going? What has the response been?

The response has been overwhelmingly positive. This work has supported thousands of individuals who were afraid of speaking up, afraid of exploding in conflict, afraid of losing themselves in conflict, or unsure how to engage hard conversations without causing harm.
People have deepened relationships, built confidence and self-trust, strengthened teams, challenged systems, and transformed how they see themselves. I’ve seen people love more intentionally, lead more clearly, and move through the world with greater grounding and courage. That’s been incredibly affirming.

What’s next? Any goals you're hoping to achieve?

We’re currently building a Conflict Bravery digital course so people can engage in solo learning at their own pace. We’re also releasing practical tools online, launching a cohort-based experience, and continuing one-to-one coaching.

The goal is to make this work more accessible so more people can build the skills needed to engage conflict with integrity, clarity, and bravery in their everyday lives.

In relation to racism, what is your vision for the future?

I often use the metaphor of a garden. In gardening, sustainability is everything and sustainability requires a relationship with conflict. You don’t avoid it or throw it away. You work with it. You compost. You nourish the soil.

My vision for the future in relation to racism is one where we deeply understand our relationality to one another and to all living, vibrating things. A world where shared humanity, not greed or accumulation, becomes the driving force behind our choices. Where collective elevation matters.

And at the same time, my vision is honest. It includes a future where we can say: racism existed. And we can study it, understand it, and use that understanding as a way to heal what has been broken in our humanity rather than denying it or repeating it.

Is there anything I haven't asked you that you'd like to add?

I would add that this work is ultimately about love, practiced love. Not abstract love. Not aspirational love. But love that shows up in how we speak to each other, how we repair, how we stay when things get hard.

The world we are moving toward is a reflection of the life we choose to live. We don’t build a just world later. We embody it now. We practice it in our homes, in our partnerships, in our friendships, in our teams. We become the world we want to see.

Conflict Bravery gives us the capacity to live bold lives with the people we love, to remain rooted in ourselves during hard conversations, to love without shrinking, to disagree without disconnecting, to stay in integrity. And when we build that kind of courage and steadiness in our most intimate spaces, we build the capacity to be bold everywhere else.

That, to me, is how movements sustain. That is how systems shift. And that is how we move from vision to embodiment.

Well, there are several standout insights I’m taking away from that interview. What resonated most with you? Follow Altagracia’s work and connect with her on her website, LinkedIn profile or Threads.

Thanks for reading,

Sharon

Smart starts here.

You don't have to read everything — just the right thing. 1440's daily newsletter distills the day's biggest stories from 100+ sources into one quick, 5-minute read. It's the fastest way to stay sharp, sound informed, and actually understand what's happening in the world. Join 4.5 million readers who start their day the smart way.

Join for free today!