A Black colleague of mine was recently with an all white group at a country club. They were having drinks and all seemed well until the waitress, who was white, raised a question about whether my colleague should be cut off. She didn't question serving anyone else, he was not inebriated, and he was a club member, emphasis on was as he resigned. Such discrimination is real, it is everywhere, and it matters not your station in life, how well dressed you might be, or how well spoken.
Oh sure it was the app's fault. This is deserving of my teenage daughter's BIGGEST eyeroll. Sharon you're classier than me, I would have had some choice words. Glad you found another restaurant and kudos for the review. If I saw that about a restaurant I would go elsewhere, hopefully the place who did treat you well.
I'm glad your evening turned out well. This has happened to me too many times to recount. I'll just say that I was hardly surprised when the Denny's chain got sued.
We really can't stand to be in environments like that so, until the start of the pandemic, we ordered take-aways. Since 2020, we've become our own restaurant! From making our own bread and pizza to mashing up really tasty stuff based on what we think a dish should taste like, we're eating healthier and more cheaply. Of course, we're completely happy in our own company. (And the service is top-notch. 😊)
Dear Sharon, I am so sorry you experienced this frustrating, inequitable experience. We know the vibe when it happens, no matter the particular establishment's efforts to explain it away. You and other community members who have experienced such unwelcoming restaurant and other consumer venue behavior, may find my book of interest. The title is Retail Racism: Shopping While Black and Brown in America (Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2021). I wrote and compiled this book as a protest of these demoralizing experiences. Retail Racism:Shopping While Black and Brown in America is available at many local libraries (or readers can request their local library to purchase it). It also is available from Amazon as well as from Rowman & Littlefield's website. It offers not only our many experiences, but also the many ways that we resist and fight against these inequities. Many have found my book to be a comfort and a resource. Again, I am so sorry that even in 2023, we are still having to navigate these inequities. Sincerely, Michelle Dunlap, Ph.D.
I have witnessed this happen, too many times. I went to a restaurant with some Black friends of mine (I’m white) and we had to wait for hours for our food, even other tables (with no Black people) who came after us got food before us. And this has never happened before when we were only white folks. We gave them the benefit of the doubt but it happened again. That was the last time we went to that restaurant.
THIS "Sometimes it seems like I have to write about the same things over and over and over again."
I feel you. I'm very sorry you have experienced this. But at the same time, I'm also glad your daughter could share her feelings with you and you believed her. There are way too many times where I have been feeling the same way but I couldn't share this with my white family or friends.
The road is long. But I'm glad we're traveling together, Sharon.
Personally, I am of Indian origin, my mother being Hindu Gujarati and father a Catholic Goan. That being said, the racism in the entire South Asian Community towards Blacks mimics that of their previous terrorist overlords from England. That mimicry does not excuse the racist mentalities many within the South Asian (Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, and other communities from South Asia) communities.
In fact, many South Asians use the term "Kalu" to refer to Blacks. The manner of its use coincides with the "six letter pejorative word" used against Blacks by whites (particularly in the USA). Here is a link to a "description of the word," https://www.wordsense.eu/%E0%A4%95%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%B2%E0%A5%82/
Unfortunately, I am not proficient with putting in the links.
As a South Asian, I am ashamed by my brethren for their horrendous treatment of you, your family, and the party.
I would further add that one only has to look at the South Asian - South Indian, Republican candidate for President of the USA Vivek Ramaswamy and understand the extent of the racism that some Indians have towards Blacks.
Sounds EXACTLY like it could be a chapter from your book. I'm so sorry to hear it continues. Some days it seems like the hits just keep on coming, and the people out there just keep getting more and more ignorant. No one would blame you if your review called them out for being racist assholes.
Anti-Blackness at a Restaurant
A Black colleague of mine was recently with an all white group at a country club. They were having drinks and all seemed well until the waitress, who was white, raised a question about whether my colleague should be cut off. She didn't question serving anyone else, he was not inebriated, and he was a club member, emphasis on was as he resigned. Such discrimination is real, it is everywhere, and it matters not your station in life, how well dressed you might be, or how well spoken.
Oh sure it was the app's fault. This is deserving of my teenage daughter's BIGGEST eyeroll. Sharon you're classier than me, I would have had some choice words. Glad you found another restaurant and kudos for the review. If I saw that about a restaurant I would go elsewhere, hopefully the place who did treat you well.
I'm glad your evening turned out well. This has happened to me too many times to recount. I'll just say that I was hardly surprised when the Denny's chain got sued.
We really can't stand to be in environments like that so, until the start of the pandemic, we ordered take-aways. Since 2020, we've become our own restaurant! From making our own bread and pizza to mashing up really tasty stuff based on what we think a dish should taste like, we're eating healthier and more cheaply. Of course, we're completely happy in our own company. (And the service is top-notch. 😊)
Dear Sharon, I am so sorry you experienced this frustrating, inequitable experience. We know the vibe when it happens, no matter the particular establishment's efforts to explain it away. You and other community members who have experienced such unwelcoming restaurant and other consumer venue behavior, may find my book of interest. The title is Retail Racism: Shopping While Black and Brown in America (Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2021). I wrote and compiled this book as a protest of these demoralizing experiences. Retail Racism:Shopping While Black and Brown in America is available at many local libraries (or readers can request their local library to purchase it). It also is available from Amazon as well as from Rowman & Littlefield's website. It offers not only our many experiences, but also the many ways that we resist and fight against these inequities. Many have found my book to be a comfort and a resource. Again, I am so sorry that even in 2023, we are still having to navigate these inequities. Sincerely, Michelle Dunlap, Ph.D.
DrMichelleTeaches.com
I have witnessed this happen, too many times. I went to a restaurant with some Black friends of mine (I’m white) and we had to wait for hours for our food, even other tables (with no Black people) who came after us got food before us. And this has never happened before when we were only white folks. We gave them the benefit of the doubt but it happened again. That was the last time we went to that restaurant.
THIS "Sometimes it seems like I have to write about the same things over and over and over again."
I feel you. I'm very sorry you have experienced this. But at the same time, I'm also glad your daughter could share her feelings with you and you believed her. There are way too many times where I have been feeling the same way but I couldn't share this with my white family or friends.
The road is long. But I'm glad we're traveling together, Sharon.
Excellent article Sharon, as always.
Personally, I am of Indian origin, my mother being Hindu Gujarati and father a Catholic Goan. That being said, the racism in the entire South Asian Community towards Blacks mimics that of their previous terrorist overlords from England. That mimicry does not excuse the racist mentalities many within the South Asian (Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, and other communities from South Asia) communities.
In fact, many South Asians use the term "Kalu" to refer to Blacks. The manner of its use coincides with the "six letter pejorative word" used against Blacks by whites (particularly in the USA). Here is a link to a "description of the word," https://www.wordsense.eu/%E0%A4%95%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%B2%E0%A5%82/
Unfortunately, I am not proficient with putting in the links.
As a South Asian, I am ashamed by my brethren for their horrendous treatment of you, your family, and the party.
I would further add that one only has to look at the South Asian - South Indian, Republican candidate for President of the USA Vivek Ramaswamy and understand the extent of the racism that some Indians have towards Blacks.
Again, thank you for sharing this experience.
Sounds EXACTLY like it could be a chapter from your book. I'm so sorry to hear it continues. Some days it seems like the hits just keep on coming, and the people out there just keep getting more and more ignorant. No one would blame you if your review called them out for being racist assholes.
Thank you for sharing. ❤️ I am so sorry you experienced that. I’m glad you left a review to let others know about this person’s hurtful behavior.